FWS: (aka: Frozen Writers Syndrome)

I’ve got it bad. Really bad. Some of you have mentioned to me how I’ve been quiet. Most of you probably haven’t missed a thing. It’s okay.

Zillions of blogs fill the cyber world.

New ideas, new twists on old ideas, new ways to use old things.

And I am just one little voice among a zillion.

But I will bring you into where I’ve been.

I have been struggling.

I’ve been struggling with FWS. Frozen Writers Syndrome. Just made the term up today. I haven’t been able to connect my heart, thoughts, and words and type them out. I have several posts started in my drafts section. My mind is often composing sentences and starting blog posts as I go along the day. My eyes filter life through words, my soul gravitates to well crafted words. And when I read my souls is moved, sometimes to tears, through well written words. Words evoke strong emotion. But instead of tapping into my heart and sharing through words, I’ve found myself shutting down and turning inside.

I’ve been wrestling with feeling inadequate, unsure and insecure.

Not only is the writing world new to me, but also the world surrounding the writing world. I’m connecting with web designers and trying to figure out legal things and understand policy and find out answers to questions I have never had to ask before. It’s a bit overwhelming. Okay, more than a bit. I find it flat-out overwhelming.

My writer friends have assured me I’m not going crazy. The process leading up to signing a book contract is quite drawn out and filled with ups and downs. I am grateful God has provided such wise and experienced agents and agency to help me navigate through this part of the journey. Today, on the phone with my agent, I was encouraged to write about whatever I want. She would take care of figuring out all this other stuff and I exhaled in relief. I’ll fill you in as I am able.

I’m in the book of Joshua these days. Timely words. “Be strong and courageous” mentioned multiple times to Joshua twice from God and once from the people in the first chapter. Taking the promised land was understood. The specifics were not as clearly spelled out. God wanted the Israelites to rely on Him and not on their battle plans, their abilities, skills, experience. And in chapter two I read about Rahab. She, a prostitute, demonstrated “be strong and courageous” by hiding the spies on her roof. Her family was saved when Jericho was destroyed and her name is mentioned in the genealogy of Jesus. Rahab was Boaz’s mother from the story of Ruth. I look forward to having coffee with this amazing hero of the faith.

I find encouragement thinking about Rahab. She was one woman in zillions of women. An unlikely person by the world’s standard to make a difference. But her example, her strength and courage, buoys me up right now as I process and type. Perhaps her character ran deep through the hardships she experienced and she never froze up. But perhaps she had times of feeling inadequate, unsure, and insecure. Regardless, I find comfort through her life and comfort in God’s ability to use anyone from anywhere at anytime for His purposes, for His glory.

How do you deal with frozen times?