Three Years Ago
I knew something was significant about yesterday and today. Woke up in the dark to the sound of rain this morning and remembered: three years ago yesterday was the last of 33 zaps of radiation, which was preceded by six rounds of a triple chemo cocktail of Adriamycin, Cytoxan, and Taxotere. Three surgeries, 32 physical therapy appointments, blood tests, waiting rooms, nine prescription and over the counter drugs. Yesterday marked the end of active treatment three years ago.
Three years ago the Awesome Threesome hugged and cried with me in the waiting room following the last zap. They scooped me up and took me to RA Sushi for a surprise celebration with friends to mark the end of a long and unexpected medical trial.
Now three years later, I still feel gratitude when I remove my hair from the drain after showers. Three years later no one can tell from the outside what life was like three years ago. But somehow through battling cancer my heart was expanded and my soul was altered. I no longer look at life through the same lenses. Life has become simultaneously more simplified and complex. The “go to the mat” issues have become fewer and less important. Having more questions than answers about God and His mysterious ways has grown to feel more familiar.
Three years later and I am seeking to follow where God leads. Grateful for the gift of eternal life, grateful for my family and friends. Grateful for the hundreds of people who rallied around our little family in our greatest time of need. Three years later and I am still a little bit stunned with the doors God has begun to open. Three years later I am returning in my mind to those dark days, working on the book with prayers it will help others who walk the cancer road.
One thing I feel confident in: we have no idea what life will look like three years from now.
So for today, God, help me live in such a way to honor you.
Forever grateful to each and every one of you who came alongside us.
Thank you for your prayers and help.
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